June 22, 1990. The last day of school in the fictitious
English village of Newton Haven. Five boys attempt a near-impossible pub crawl,
the “Golden Mile” of twelve (yes, twelve) watering holes. The kids have a
blast, but can’t reach the finish, The World’s End. (Background for North
American audiences: that’s a not uncommon English pub name.)
Nearly 25 years on, the boys have mellowed ... except the
irrepressible Gary (Simon Pegg), who drops out of AA to connect with the
friends he hasn’t seen in a decade. His proposal: visit Newton Haven to reenact
the legendary crawl.
“It’s about closure ... this is our chance to take stock ...
finally finish what we started.”
My name is Jeffrey Pipkin and I
plan to invoice this website a cool $45 for the Status Update you’re presently enjoying.
No need to thank me. When you’ve penned as many Status Updates as I have, you
learn to take praise as a given. It comes with the proverbial territory.
As the author of over three e-books and countless blog
posts, I’m often tempted to take the opportunity to promote myself in the content
I write for others. That’s apart from my byline “Jeffrey Pipkin,” my business-casual headshot (see above) and of course
the link to my super-cool tech blog for aspiring bloggers, [DELETED] dot com.
example, I’ll sneak in the header names of a few of my latest posts, under
guise of improving some other chump’s SEO, to refer readers to my own ads. (Visit
my blog and I’ll show you how!) But in this case, as word space is limited, I’ll
humbly content myself with the $45, plus expenses.
Now to that all-important Status which, I gather, needs
Teenage nerds Gary and Wyatt (Anthony Michael Hall, Ilan
Mitchell-Smith) wish they could be smooth with the ladies. That’s impossible, so
instead they scratch-build a fully operable slave girl named Lisa (Kelly
LeBrock) using their 8-bit home computer.
This feat of mad science should recall Frankenstein, but the movie plays like I Dream of Jeannie.