Jeffrey Pipkin, Expert Blogger (shutterstock)

I don’t think we’ve met.

My name is Jeffrey Pipkin and I plan to invoice this website a cool $45 for the Status Update you’re presently enjoying.

No need to thank me. When you’ve penned as many Status Updates as I have, you learn to take praise as a given. It comes with the proverbial territory.

As the author of over three e-books and countless blog posts, I’m often tempted to take the opportunity to promote myself in the content I write for others. That’s apart from my byline “Jeffrey Pipkin,” my business-casual headshot (see above) and of course the link to my super-cool tech blog for aspiring bloggers, [DELETED] dot com.

For example, I’ll sneak in the header names of a few of my latest posts, under guise of improving some other chump’s SEO, to refer readers to my own ads. (Visit my blog and I’ll show you how!) But in this case, as word space is limited, I’ll humbly content myself with the $45, plus expenses.

Now to that all-important Status which, I gather, needs updating.

The first thing I ask my clients is, "Who are your friends?"

Who’s gonna wanna hear your Status in the first place? Got to know your audience, right? But the Junior Sub-Editor guy at just rolled his eyes at me and told me to get on with it.

How can a blogger work under these conditions? Not to seem precious or anything, but honest, I really don’t need that kind of guff. Here I am, not very highly paid, doing freelance work that affords no job security and no benefits except the $45, and on top of all that the client yawns and rolls his eyes at me!

At any rate, I’ve reached my word limit. I can’t wait to interact with you in the Comments!

What do you guys think?